


Finding Comfort in a World of Destruction

by Anonymous



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers Tower, Depressed Steve Rogers, Domestic Fluff, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Hydra (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Sam Wilson, Protective Tony Stark, Sharing a Bed, So many tags, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Torture, brock rumlow - Freeform, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-06 00:40:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 16,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14630397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Steve Rogers has been Captain America for decades, eventually he will fall and the shield will be passed on. When the day comes, will he realize he has a team by his side?orAfter a mission gone wrong Steve begins to fall apart and the team will do their best to keep him alive.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> A lot goes on in this story and I am proud of it, but know it doesn't make much sense. Please find yourself some time to read, enjoy, and ask any questions you may have.  
> I try to post things as often as I can to inspire others that writing doesn't have to be perfect and you should share what you have incase others have similar ideas or interests. 
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read.

He was pulled from the waves by a hand on his shoulder, grip tight and harsh as he took in a gasp of air. His lungs burned in pain and he wanted to say that he screamed, but he could barely focus his mind enough to realize where he was. His body ached and he was freezing to the bone, he didn’t want to lose any more time. 

“Got him! Taking him to the jet!”  
Dragged across the ground he looked around in horror, smoke and flames surrounding him as rubble continued to fall from above. He had no idea where he was and lashing out was his only option. 

“Hey, hey it’s me! Cap, it’s just me.”  
The hand turned into two, wrapping around his body as his gaze was forced into a familiar pair of eyes. Relief could only flood into him for a few seconds before he broke into sobs, wrapping his arms around the suit tightly and letting his head fall into the man’s chest. 

“It’s alright, we got you. We need to get you back to the jet, alright?”  
“No, no, please don’t leave me, Tony,” he stuttered.  
“I’m right here, but this place is about to blow and we’ll be under water in seconds. Just hold on, alright?”  
Within the minute they were up in the air, Steve trembling as the wind froze him to the point where his teeth began to chatter. Flashes of snow burst through his mind and he began to panic as the sight below seemed to grow closer. 

“No! No, stop!”  
His feet were swinging, hands trying to clutch to Tony as the man in the armor began swerving around. 

“Hey! Calm down!”  
“You can’t! You can’t leave me too, Tony! You can’t!”  
“Steve-”  
“You can’t fall too!”  
The material of the suit began to sink under the pressure of his fingers, almost as if they were slipping away from his grip once again. He meant to scream for Tony, to tell him to ‘hold on’ but all he could think about was Bucky. He never meant for the man to fall and he needed him to know that, he needed Tony to know that he would only fail if he had to save someone again.

 

I’m so sorry, Bucky

Please forgive me

Please, please forgive me

 

Their feet hit ground and Steve refused to let the suit go, even as other hands began to pull him away. He tried swinging, reaching for a shield but seeing Tony against a hole leading below only terrified him more. His mind tried fighting, tried getting out of a flashback but next thing he knew he was on that train surrounded by robots. 

Hit after hit he felt his fists connecting with skin, screaming as Bucky went out the side of the train. Without hesitation he knocked out the most that he could before heading toward the hole. Bucky was staring at him, reaching out, but every time he moved closer more arms wrapped around his chest. The weight overpowered him and he was forced farther and farther away as the bar on the outside of the train began loosening lower and lower. His chest was aching with how hard he was breathing, pain blossoming at every swing and he was screaming so loud his throat began to bleed. He couldn’t let him fall again.

He couldn’t let him fall.

Bucky.

 

But he did. Steve could only watch in horror as the body began to disappear and Bucky’s screams filled the silence of the train car. Wind chose then to pick up, taking the sounds of despair away as the hands on his chest pushed him down against the wall. He could barely see through his tears as his limbs were held still, straps buckling across his chest so tight he couldn’t even turn to see the snow of the mountains anymore. Everything was so cold. He was so cold. 

 

“Steve, it’s okay! You’re okay, look at me!”  
Hands were on his cheeks, his silence broken by the sound of weeping and cries of anguish. His vision was still blurred by tears, but something covered him in warmth and confusion rained down on him. The train began to dissolve and as fingers wiped underneath his eyes he recognized the setting of a twinjet. He was surrounded by tech and equipment, and directly in front of him sat Sam with a look of pain and sympathy in his eyes. 

“S-s-”

“It’s me, man. It’s just me, you’re safe.” 

“Sam..”  
He felt tight, lungs painfully stretched as more clicks began tightening over his chest. 

“Yeah,” the man was clear, a towel swiping across his face as his breathing began to calm down, “you’re safe.” 

“I’m s-sorry.. I didn’t mean to let him fall.”  
His forehead fell forward onto the man’s chest, another blanket dropped over his shoulders as his hands tightened against his sides. He felt his nails digging into his palm before another set of hands pulled apart his fingers and began smoothing across his knuckles. He flinched and turned, recognizing Thor who had bruises smeared heavily across his skin. Not wanting to move away from Sam’s hold he focused on his hearing, listening to footsteps and fidgeting behind him that must of been the rest of the team. Regret and guilt flooded through him and he tightened his grip on Thor’s hand as his eyes fell closed. 

“Please don’t leave me, Sam.”  
“Wouldn’t dream of it, man.”

“Please, please don’t leave me.”

 

He doesn’t know how long he sat there, tears still streaming down his face as the jet stayed silent and his screaming turned silent. Thor was still holding his hand and although he couldn’t move much, his other hand was trying it’s best to latch onto Sam’s shirt. The reach was too far.

“Here, man. Drink some of this.”  
He reached pathetically as the man moved backwards, hand twitching harshly as Thor as well let go and began to walk away. The loss of contact caused his lungs to tighten back up almost immediately and he whimpered pathetically. 

“Just breathe, just breathe.”  
The water bottle came to his lips, forcing his throat into pain as the substance began sliding down his pathway. He winced, forcing his neck as far away as he could get it. The change in posture immediately showed him the rest of his team, sitting around the jet with silence hanging heavily over their heads. His eyes widened at their faces, some holding their ribs as they obviously were in pain. Did he do that?

What did he do?

“You were in a flashback, you didn’t mean it.”  
He looked back at the man in front of him, eyes furrowing in honest regret at the realization.

“No one blames you, you-”  
Falcon’s gaze dropped, immediately letting go of the water bottle to grab the trembling hands reaching out for a grip.

“I got you, okay, I see. I’ve got you grounded.”  
His head quickly dropped, seeing how many restraints were actually tightened around him as his throat began to clog. There were so many and he felt like a prisoner, like he deserved this because he had hurt his team; he hurt the people who put their trust in him everyday. 

Sam must’ve noticed his thinking because one of his hands disappeared to pull Steve’s head closer. His face was forced into the man’s shoulder and the hand stayed heavily weighted on the back of his neck.

“We’re gonna be okay.”


	2. two

He must have drifted off because a jolt of heavy turbulence shot his eyes open to a dark jet. The straps were still tight and he immediately threw himself into the flashback of the valkyrie. Instead of darkness he saw windows, large ones that only showed ocean for miles upon miles. His hands were steering him toward New York and the blinking buttons put him through to Peggy. Only, Peggy didn’t respond as herself. It was Bucky. 

A gasp escaped his lips quickly, ears straining as the voice began to bleed through the console. 

“Stevie?”  
“Oh, Buck..” His voice cracked upon speaking the name. 

“Stevie, I’m here. I’m right here, babydoll.” 

“Buck, please come get me.. Please, please come get me!”  
“I’m trying, I’m trying to lock your location, love. I can’t find you.”  
“I don’t wanna go to sleep, I wanna stay here. I wanna stay with you!”  
“I know, we’re gonna find you. I am gonna find you and bring you home, you won’t go under, alright?”   
“I trust you, Buck, I love you.”  
“I love you too, I’m gonna find you!”  
The water was getting closer and Steve couldn’t lift his hands, he couldn’t move and he was strapped down and-

“I’m gonna find you!”  
“Bucky!”

 

Hitting the water hurt, it broke skin and shattered bones and he felt every organ shift upon impact. Tears were streaming down his face and he began choking as water invaded his lungs. He didn’t understand what was happening, why wasn’t Bucky here? Why isn’t he swimming? His body was turning to stone- no his body was turning to ice and he couldn’t move. He wanted his life back, he wanted to take Bucky and go home. He didn’t wanna leave, he wanted to stay. He wanted to see Peggy and hug his team, he needed to kiss his mom one last time and play checkers with Becca as Bucky finished cooking dinner. He wanted Mrs. Barnes’ chocolate chip cookies and his neighbors piano playing. He wanted to go home. He needed to go home.

But the hands on his face were holding him down. 

There were hands shielding him from the light as it burst into his eyes and he screamed in pain at the burn. It was like the water, the water still pouring into him as the plane dug deeper into the ocean. Yet the deeper he got the brighter the light got and next thing he knew he was staring at Sam again.

“Breathe, Steve! Breathe! There’s no water, Steve, I need you to focus on me!”

Breathing was so difficult. His lungs were full, he couldn’t pull in air when he was surrounded by water.

A hand was on his throat, another on his waist as someone clutched painfully tight to his hand. 

“You’re okay! You’re okay, Steve!”

The ice around him faded to faces, Sam, Tony and Thor standing around him as someone grabbed his hand, Sam rubbed his chest through the uniform, and Thor held his face in his hands. 

“It’s over, it’s over, man. Come back to me, alright?”  
“S-Sam..”  
He shook his head in annoyance, anger and embarrassment running through his mind as he let out a cry. Once again his head was pulled toward the falcon, resting on his shoulder as he choked on sob after sob threatening to boil over his lips. 

“Breathe, breathe, man.”

“I just wanna go home!”

“I know,” the moment his sobs broke free his body grew weightless, body sagging against the restraints as all the hands on him began to pull away; except for Sams.

“I thought if I did it i’d go back to Bucky, i’d be back with him again, but I came here! I came here and I don’t wanna be here!”  
“I know, we’ll find him-”  
“He’ll never remember me.. He’ll never find me..”

A hand ran up and down his neck, unable to drop lower as the back of the chair held him in place. He tried to calm down but the memories rose to the surface and now all he could think about was Bucky. 

“I don’t even have a picture of ‘im.. All I have are these stupid tags that don’t even matter because everyone hates him! They hate him but they don’t know my Buck, they don’t!”

“But you do, and that’s all that matters, it’s all that matters, Steve.”

 

“You don’t have to stay.”  
He knew they were exhausted, the ride was so long and everyone wanted to sleep, yet the three were still around him. His eyes were still held against the man’s shirt, vision blocked as they rode in silence besides the occasional sniffle or rumble of another avenger in their sleep. 

“You need to get some sleep.”

“I can’t.”  
“Yes you can, stop fighting it, if you have another nightmare i’ll be right here to wake you up.”  
He didn’t respond to that, letting his body untense as the hands in his gave him a little tug of agreement.


	3. three

“We have to get him inside as fast as possible when we land, there will be helicopters everywhere looking for a story. We released a statement listing out that Captain America was taken during battle in Europe and held captive for 48 hours. He is returning home now and after the 10 hour flight he will be kept under observation in the Stark Tower until further notice.”

“Director, I agree with the simplicity. Do not let any other information get past the press and we the council will keep Hydra names underwraps to not bring panic back to New York.”

The sound of a screen closing let Steve open his eyes, seeing the backs of his team as Nick Fury’s voice rang through the enclosure. 

“I will keep the council out of everything, get him home and let him rest until further notice. I do not want him in the field.”  
“He will be taken care of.”

“Get ready for landing. ETA 5 minutes.”

The room visibly lightened as the hologram turned off and the main lights turned back on, Steve letting his eyes slip closed at the intrusion. Feet made their way around as bags began to zip closed and sounds began to signal the arrival of the team. He held back a flinch as feet came closer to him, arms holding up his shoulders as straps began to loosen and buckles began to fall. 

“Cap?”  
He opened his eyes to Stark crouching in front of him, eyes weighing down heavily as the man held up a water bottle. 

“Want something to drink?”  
Only able to shake his head he denied, muscles groaning as the pressure around him decreased and blood returned to his limbs. Once his feet were freed his mind told him to stand, but the thought of moving shook him to the core. He wasn’t ready to step back into a soldiers shoes.

“When we land I’m gonna need you to eat something, alright?”  
“What's the plan?”  
His voice was rough, stinging at the use of words versus screaming.

“I told you, we land and then we eat. Don’t worry about anything else.”

The rest of the team was standing now, standing by the door as Thor came over and began lifting Steve’s body from the seat. He wrapped an arm around his waist, dragging his arm around his own neck and headed toward the door. 

“Let us get inside away from the press, Steven.”

He could barely nod, body still shaking as they finally landed with a jolt. His eyes stayed closed as Nat reached up, opening the door and immediately heading down the steps. Inside, he didn’t want to follow, but Thor immediately started moving, basically dragging his legs as they made their way across the platform. His feet were simply unresponsive and as soon as they got inside the tower he was swept off of them. Normally he would complain, fighting away from the idea of being treated as a child, but his exhaustion was too much and he simply laid against the God as his hand reached for the cape. 

“Where to, Stark?”

“My floor.”  
Steve missed being manhandled. He missed affection and the ability to let himself be taken care of. The only person besides his mother who ever got the chance to take care of him was Bucky and he never missed anything more. 

 

He was laid across Stark’s couch, immediately covered with a blanket as he stayed as still as stone. Not wanting to overstep boundaries he waited for the room to clear, only for the team to fall into the couch cushions around his loveseat. Sam had quickly replaced Thor, raising an eyebrow as he pulled Steve’s limbs apart so he was comfortable curled into the small cushion and covered almost completely with the comforter. 

“I ordered pizza.”  
“Of course you did, Stark. What else would we have after a mission?”  
Chuckles went around at the words, Natasha grinning as she let herself sink in front of Steve’s seat to rest against the frame. Without thinking he let his hand fall, sighing softly in relief as hers raised enough to hold it. 

 

He had two water bottles and a small box of pizza laid in front of him, Wanda smiling as she hovered the items over and made sure he noticed it. The time was only one in the afternoon and as much as he wanted to nap, he knew that he needed to stay awake to be debriefed. 

“When do I have to talk to Fury?”  
“You don’t.”  
Stark’s eyes didn’t leave the TV as he spoke, mouth full of pizza and soda as he responded in a quick, yet gentle way. 

“I thought-”  
“Nope. Eat so you can take a cat nap, Cap.”  
He laughed at the words, winking toward the soldier only for a second before turning back toward the movie. 

 

He only drank a few sips of his water, a slice of pizza gone as he slowly rose from his seat. The bones in his back popped in relief at him finally standing and he sighed before raising his hand over his head and stretching, finally releasing his hold on Nat’s hand. 

“Guest room next to mine, don’t be too loud when you get up before me.”


	4. four

Only he didn’t get up before Tony. 

A week into the sleeping arrangements Steve barely got out of bed. His food was brought to him by Sam and although he didn’t eat much, Sam was able to get fluids in him enough to be healthy. He stayed cuddled in the blankets with his dog tags in his hands and let himself stare at the picture of Bucky sitting on his nightstand. He didn’t question the colored photo he woke up to on his second day back, but the gift brought tears to his eyes when he first noticed it. All he wanted was to have the man back, but the search for him suspended after what took place just over a week ago and now he had no will.

With a sigh he forced himself to turn over, raising the blanket only for a second before noticing a shadow in the hallway. His arm quickly lowered again, watching the shadow move before mumbling to Jarvis as best he could. Not having spoke in a while his throat ached, but it was enough to call a warning to Tony who was down the hall. 

“Jarvis, get Tony.”  
Within seconds the man was at his bed, crouched down with a hand reaching out to rest on the soldiers cheek. Steve kept his gaze in the hallway, looking around in fear before he was forced back down to the one he called. 

“Rogers, what's going on?”  
“I saw someone in the hallway.”  
The head turned, taking a quick glance before speaking up to Jarvis. 

“Jar, any unexpected guests?”  
“Not that I can see, sir.”

With a smile he turned back around, going to speak before his eyes went wide and he stood with a shout. 

“Step back!”  
His hand raised, repulsors waking up with a screech as Steve shot up in his bed and turned. There was a younger female, her eyes yellow as she was dressed head to toe in something familiar to Wanda back when she was Hydra. He could only stare in confusion, body pushing back as his eyes landed on the picture of Bucky in the woman’s hands. 

“I recognize this man.”  
A thick French accent invaded the room and Tony stepped closer as he began mumbling something quickly under his breath.

“He was a very talented man, until he died.”  
“Don’t listen to her, Cap. You have five seconds to surrender before you’re surrounded by more of me. Put your hands up and get on your knees!”  
Steve pushed himself up on his hands, staring at her in terror as she disintegrated the picture frame with the palm of her hand. Clutching tighter to his dog tags he went to get off the bed, Tony shooting only for her hands to push out and spark off bright yellow flashes in the air. It looked very similar to Wanda’s power and as a battle begun in his bedroom his mind started screaming. 

It was enough to cause his hands to rise toward his ears, body shaking as flashes of the ocean flooded all of his thoughts. He was standing on an iceberg, looking out into nothing as a figure stood across from him. 

“Bucky?”  
Trying to move forward water swam up his ankles, freezing upon contact and holding him tightly into place. 

“Steve.”  
The man sounded angry, walking across the water until he stood directly in front of the blond. His image was one of recent, decked out in black with hair longer than his shoulders. Exhaustion filled his eyes in a blackish color and his hands trembled as he raised them above his head. 

“How could you do this to me?” 

“I didn’t mean for this to happen..”  
A tear slid down his cheek, arms reaching out as he wrapped them tightly around the man’s shoulders. They felt thin in a way, but he ignored how the man felt as he forced his gaze into the other’s neck. 

“I thought you loved me?”  
“I do, Buck. I do, I do.”  
“Then why would you let them take me?”  
“I tried, I tried getting you back. I didn’t know.”  
“They hurt me, they fried my brain until I couldn’t speak. They beat me, forced me to kill!”  
The assassin began to sob, Steve feeling his heart shatter as his body was shot back and he landed on something harsh. 

Bucky came to stand over him, raising a gun until it stood directly in his gaze. Tears were still pouring from his eyes but he held himself so still he could of been frozen. 

“I blame you! You didn’t jump after me on that train! You hold a picture of me, my dog tags, yet you never did anything to save me! You let them hurt me!”  
“No! Bucky, I didn’t know!” 

“Yes you did! You watched! You laughed at me!”  
“I would never laugh at you, Buck I would never!”  
“You said you would come home!”  
“I tried, I tried to come home!”  
“You said you’d crash the plane!”  
“I did crash the plane! I dug it so deep I swore I tried!”

“Then why are you still alive?”

“I don’t know!”  
Both men were screaming, staring at each other as Steve still laid with his back against the ice. 

“If I could trade places with you I would, Buck. I would trade it in a second.”  
“Prove it.”  
He flipped around his newest weapon, Steve not even aware to where it came from, but grabbing it nonetheless and raising it to his head. 

“Pull the trigger, Steve.”  
Without hesitation he pushed his finger into the trigger, eyes growing confused as the cartridge was empty. Buck looked heartbroken, sobs dying down as he began fading out. 

“Buck?”

“Steve..”

His face began to clear, feature shifting before Steve was back in the bedroom, staring at none other than a grin. The heart in his chest was beating too fast to be normal and as he realized who was in front of him he quickly dropped the weapon, yellow surrounding him as he heard her laugh. He was sat in front of her on his knees, the gun now sat in front of him as his hands immediately flew up to cover his face. She was speaking, but he refused to listen as arms wrapped around his waist and he held back his sobs. 

“I will be taking him back with me.”  
The arms felt so familiar and he couldn’t even fight them off as a chin rested on his shoulder.

“Stevie..”  
He trembled, cheek rubbing against the man’s own as the familiar scent of black coffee and the ocean invaded his senses. 

“I love you, Stevie.. You’d never leave me, right?”

“Never, Bucky. I would never leave you.”  
As he began to feel his body move he felt a hand dig into his t-shirt, hands removing themselves from his face as he turned to see a completely different scenario, there was Sam. He was standing right there and he looked angry as his eyes were locked over Steve’s shoulder. The soldier quickly looked back again, seeing the woman standing by a hole in his window as the room began piecing itself back together. Tony was still on his right, the whole team now standing behind him with different emotions splashed across their faces. Sam’s hand was tight in the fabric, almost tearing it as he yanked him as far back as he could. 

Wanda was walking past him and her own fumes of red were hanging boldly in the air. Steve let his eyes lock on the shattered pieces of glass on the carpet and before he could reach out new arms swung him up and fled from the room. Thor was familiar, he flew out of the window and the sound of a fight followed them until they rested on a rooftop miles away. 

“Captain?”  
The god was now sitting in front of him, staring into his eyes with worry as their hands quickly connected. 

“Are you back with us?”  
“Who was that?”

“Another Strucker experiment. Her mission was to take you with her, Hydra-”

“Did..”  
“We heard what you were saying. Yes.”  
“And..”  
“You pulled the trigger. Yes.”  
“I’m not crazy.”  
“I would have done the same for Jane.”

 

They sat there for what felt like hours, Steve trembling in the cold as he sat leaning against the others chest. He couldn’t hear commotion anymore and he was wondering if there was even a battle. He heard no sirens, no screaming, Thor didn’t even speak.   
“They have gotten rid of the threat.”  
“Wanda?”  
“She took care of the situation.”  
“Why are we here?”  
“They are.. Debating where to bring you.”


	5. five

The moment he stepped foot back in the bedroom the team looked as if they were in mourning. Tony was the first one to come up to him, wrapping him in his arms before punching him harshly in the shoulder. 

“If you ever.”  
Tears were in his eyes, shaking his head as he stepped backward and pointed toward the hall. 

“You are staying in my room. Go.”  
“Tony..”  
“We will discuss this later.”  
He only did what he was told, passing by the rest of his teammates as they clasped a hand on his shoulder or pulled him into hug. His body tried to stop shaking but the moment he got into the new bedroom he fell into the sheets with tears streaming down his face. 

 

The attack was early in the morning, and Steve was now in the elevator with Natasha being brought to a new floor. It was around 10 am and Fury had called together a meeting. He heard the ding before the door opened and followed her out as they made their way past offices and into a conference room. His team was spread evenly across the room and all stood up tall when he walked in. They all watched him as he sat across from Nick, hands in his lap. 

“Cap, you know why we are here.”  
“There was an intruder this morning.”  
His voice was shaky at best, eyes wandering around the room to see his whole team listening intently to the conversation. 

“Yes, a french assassin who was put under experimentation. Her job was to assassinate or get a hold of you to bring you back to Hydras compound. She had similar abilities as Miss Maximoff.”  
“I-”

“You were deep under, but we all know what happened in that dream.”  
“Yes, sir.”  
His gaze stuck on the director. 

“Captain, were you going to pull that trigger?”

“I did pull the trigger, sir.”  
“Barnes. You two had-”  
“Nick.”  
Tony’s words sliced through the air, warning in his tone as him and Sam came to sit at the table next to Steve.

“We can not simply push past what happened here today.”  
“I understand.”  
“Although it has been just over a week since the incident in Europe, there are effects we have to dig into before we can send you back on the battlefield. So, with that said, you will be under 24/7 observation again, as well as strict access to only Stark’s floor no weapons, no workshop or gym, no contact to anyone unless they are physically on that floor. Until further notice you are not allowed on any mission, no input no suggestions in anyway. We have a therapist on sight for you to start speaking to as well.”  
“Sir, a therapist won’t-”  
“Until we figure out what running through your head, Rogers, we are going to take the steps required. If you have questions or concerns let whoever is on the floor with you know.”  
“Can..” 

He bit his tongue, nodding his head before pushing himself up to stand. 

“Stark, you can take him back up. The rest of you stay, we have things to discuss.”  
As soon as they were out the door Steve turned his gaze to the other man, apologizing.

“No need, Cap. Let’s just get you upstairs to sleep, yeah?”  
“Tony.. can I get that picture back? Please.”  
Stopping to push the button for the elevator, Tony turned to match his level, smiling gently at his words.  
“Already on my nightstand.”

Steve slept on the other half of Tony’s bed. Days have passed since the incident and it was revealed that Wanda had taken out the other and they disposed of the body immediately. The gun wasn’t loaded, yet they had to watch as he lifted it from the ground and raised it to his head, and he could see how that would affect them. They have come up with a routine and today was Natasha’s day to stay with him on the top floor of the tower 

“Steve? You wanna come eat?”  
“I’m not that hungry, Nat.”  
She walked in the bedroom as they spoke, jumping in the bed and letting her body lay parallel to his. Her gaze was striking into his and she smiled softly as she grabbed a hold of his hand. 

“I put on a movie.”

“I probably have to shower.”

“Then how about we get up and get you cleaned, and then have a nice meal in front of the TV.”

Unable to ever tell her no, he agreed, forcing himself up from the sheets as she headed toward the bathroom. 

“I’m not crazy, Nat.”  
She frowned as she turned on the water.

“No one thinks you’re crazy, Steve.”  
“I’m locked on Tony’s floor.”  
“It is for safety against more people like that assassin, as well as making sure that you are okay. You can always speak to us, you know.”  
“There have been too many people in my head.”  
“Did you ever think about him before you were captured?”  
“Not as bad.”  
“Then I think it’s time you finally got it off your chest.”  
He made it to the bathroom at his own pace, staring at the shower as she began sliding off his clothes. 

“I have hands, Nat.”  
“So do I.”

 

Admittingly, he took a while in the shower. Washing his hair and body took longer as he fought away the urge to panic at the water. Natasha wouldn’t let him get in it until it was warm, but being submerged gave him a chill regardless. Getting out he found clothes on the counter and he quickly changed before brushing his teeth and heading out toward the living room.

“You good for soup?”  
“Yeah, thank you.”  
“Go ahead and sit on the couch, I’ll be right there.”

He followed the order quickly, curling up in the corner of the couch as soup was pushed into his hand and a blanket curled around his form. Nat was eating as well and sat close to him as she pressed play on the remote.   
“I love you, Nat.”  
“I love you too, Steve.”


	6. six

“Steve!”  
It had been a month since he was kidnapped in Europe. 2 and a half weeks since he almost blew his brains out, and a couple days since he got used to his routine. Every day someone was in the tower, usually an avenger unless they had a mission and he was watched by Maria or Phil. He found himself to be constantly exhausted despite being either in bed or on the couch all the time, and although he didn’t eat much they had a couple shakes that provided him with enough protein to get through. Today he was staying with Tony again, and the man had already finished dinner. Steve for some reason couldn’t bring himself away from the picture of Bucky and ignored the yelling as the anxiety lingered. 

As the door opened he let out a sigh, turning to see the billionaire standing there with a look of dead on sass.

“You gonna make me scream all day? Because I will.”  
“I’m not hungry-”  
“Oh no, no, I told you if you had a shake for lunch and breakfast you had to have a full meal. Let's go.”  
Steve could only roll his eyes, shaking his head harshly as he held the tags in his grip. 

“I will get the suit. Don’t try me, Spangles.” 

“I really don’t want to get up.”  
“I don’t care, you need to eat, then you can come back to your little pity party after.”  
“Pity party?”  
“Forget it, let’s go. Movies on.”  
The man walked away, mumbling something about Jarvis and a sprinkler as he left the door open. Not willing to get soaked Steve forced himself up, feet hitting the ground as he laid his tags on the dresser by his frame. He smiled sadly at the picture before forcing himself up and making his way toward the living room. 

 

“I am a great chef, no one can deny me.”  
“It was pasta, even I can make that, Tony.”  
“Listen, gramps, you ate two plates-”  
“Because you threatened me.”

“Well, hope you learned your lesson.”  
With a scoff, Steve quickly headed into the bedroom, swiping some sweats from his dresser before heading to the bathroom to put them on. Without a thought he also threw on one of Thor’s hoodies, smiling as it swam on him comfortably. When Thor had his turn to stop by Steve had quickly asked for one, getting a smile in return as well as two extras the next day.

“Lights are going out!”  
Quickly, he ran toward the bedroom, glaring at the other man as he jumped in the bed and covered himself with his comforter, ignoring the fact that Tony switched it out with a different one the other night claiming his was softer than the billionaire’s. Letting his eyes slipped closed he could only think about his day before reaching out on his dresser for his tags; but they weren’t there. 

Panic tightened around his chest as he flung his hand around the top of the furniture, realizing the picture frame was as well gone from their spots. 

“Tony!”  
The other shot up, calling for the lights before turning and placing a hand on the other’s arm. 

“What's wrong?”  
Steve forced his upper body up within seconds, whimpering at the sight of an empty dresser top. He didn’t have to say anything before Tony immediately got up and called for his suits gauntlet. 

“Jarvis, who was here? I swear, how many people need to sneak in here before you tell me?”  
He sounded pissed as he walked toward the window, looking around the ground as Steve felt tears swelling in his eyes. 

“I’m afraid I have not noticed anyone sir, they must be in the vents where I can not see.”  
“Remind me to fix that- Steve?”  
The soldier could only shake his head, hands in his hair as he looked at Tony with agony smeared across his face. 

“Hey, I’ll find it, alright? Look at me.”  
Hands were on his shoulders, pulling him into a hug as footsteps ran in the room and Tony’s grip tightened. 

“Nat. Someone’s sneaking around the tower.”  
His head nudged toward the dresser, Steve’s shaking increasing as she walked over and looked up at the air vent. 

“I’ll head up there, Jarvis tell Clint to get the lower floors.”

With a nod she was gone, Tony climbing on the bed while looking around the floor incase it was a mishap. No such luck appeared and he crossed his legs before pulling the man’s head into his lap. 

“I can’t lose him, Tony.”  
“I know, they’ll find it.”

 

“I just want this to be over.”  
“Me too, maybe you can try some of that therapy Fury called in.”

“You know that won’t work.”

“Never know until you try it, you can talk to us. To me-”  
“Sir, the intruder was found.”  
Tony tensed, looking at the ceiling as Jarvis continued.

“He was found on the fifth floor, hiding in the vents. He was scanned and believed to be The Winter Soldier.”  
Snapping his gaze to Tony’s Steve couldn’t breathe, beginning to fight as Tony tightened his hold. 

“No, Jarvis lock down this floor.”  
“Tony-”  
“No. Until we know there is no threat you are not going down there!”

Steve watched as the door shut, burrowing himself into the other man as he hid away from everything. His hands tightened in the shirt and he forced himself deeper into the man’s stomach as his thoughts went haywire. But, he trusted Tony. So he would wait.


	7. seven

He doesn’t know how long he sat there, but every time Tony went to move he held tighter. He refused to let the man leave him. 

“J, what's the word?”  
“He hasn’t put up a fight. He is locked down on your conference floor where they found him. Ms. Romanoff has tried talking to him but has not been communicating- I am proved wrong. He has spoken, Sir.”  
“What did he say?”  
“He is asking for Captain Rogers, more specifically, Steve.”  
“No.”

He couldn’t bring himself to respond. 

“Until he is proven not a threat he will not be seeing anyone out of those walls.”  
“Nat says she will handle the situation if you need her to.”  
“Tell her to send someone to swap with me.”

 

Steve stayed dazed, hands clutching here and there as his exhausted mind began drifting in and out of sleep. He needed to see Bucky, make sure it was really him, but he trusted his team to figure out who it is before they were introduced. His body was shifted around, tucked under blankets as his senses began dying down. 

 

“He hasn’t been sleeping, just keep an eye on him and keep the floor on lockdown. He does not leave this room. It’s for his safety.”  
Thor could only nod, sitting next to the captain immediately and running his hands through the hair below. 

“I shall keep him here under my protection.”  
With a nod Tony was gone, gaze lingering on Steve only for a minute before walking off while talking to Jarvis. Thor let himself lean back, grabbing the remote and changing channels as his other stayed in Steve’s hair. 

The soldier was a little jumpy in his sleep, groaning here and there but still under without an issue. It wasn’t until he began twitching that Thor pulled him up against his chest and held him while covering him with more comforters. He made sure the man was hidden from the world as he settled back down and ran both hands up and down the others back.

 

The warmth was inviting, he never wanted to remove himself from this moment. Everything seemed comfortable and welcoming and for the first time in decades he was completely soothed into a puddle of happy super soldier. 

“Steven?”  
The hand on his back began to shake him, making a groan leave his lips as he snuggled deeper into the abyss below. 

“Steve, you have to get up. I know you’re tired, but we have some questions to ask you.”

“Please let me sleep.”  
“Cap..”

 

When he came to it was to yelling, eyes snapping open in confusion as he jumped to his feet. Making his way out he saw just about his whole team standing in the living room arguing about something. 

“This has always been about him, that man in there is suffering and we took too long to notice! I am not bringing anyone into this tower without knowing damn well they will not cause more harm-”  
“Tony, it’s his best friend! This is the man that has been in all his dreams! He will never forgive you if you cast him out.”

“He doesn’t have to know-”  
“No. I refuse. This is his past, the man who means most to him. We can not hide that, I agree with Bruce.”  
“Of course you do, the moment Barton finally shows up it's to hurt someone else.”  
“This isn’t about us. This is about Steve!”  
“Guys..”  
He stepped from the shadows, seeing everyone flinch before turning toward him. Tony looked angry, face flooding with emotion as he rubbed a hand tiredly down his face. 

“Steve.”  
“What's going on?”  
“You remember last night.” 

He raised an eyebrow in confusion before everything came flooding back, his eyes widening as he took some more steps forward and looked between all the avengers. 

“Is it him?”  
They all turned to Tony, Steve following his gaze with a million thoughts running through his head. 

“Yeah, Spangles. It is.”  
“Oh my god..”  
Tears immediately sprung to his eyes, body trembling in joy as he ran up and gave his friend a hug. 

“Steve-”  
“You-I- Tony, thank you so much.. How am I- I mean-”  
“Steve..”  
“He’s back! I can’t believe he’s back. He remembers me!”  
“Steve!”  
The blond turned back to the man speaking, smile dropping slightly at the tone. As he looked around he noticed more somber faces, everyone looking almost remorsed as Steve took a step forward. 

“What?”  
“You can’t see him, Steve.”  
His lungs dropped into his stomach, breath stolen from his very lips as he dropped back onto the ground. 

“What do you mean I can’t see him?”   
“You can’t leave the floor.. And Barnes is being held at a prison down in-”  
“What?”  
“You are still under observation-”  
“He turned himself in! He remembers who he is, who I am! He can’t be in a prison!”  
“Fury thinks-”  
“Fuck him! Bucky didn’t do any of those things!”  
“Maybe not, but he’s still the winter soldier. His hands still killed and tortured for the last fifty years. They aren’t gonna let that slide.”  
“So I can’t see him?”   
His body was shaking, not even in anger but in misery as he realized what they were saying.

“When can i be cleared?”  
“I don’t know-”  
“I have to go to his trial! I need- I deserve to see if it's really him!”  
“I know..”  
“Tony you have to help me!”  
“It's above me-”

“Nothing’s ever above you! After everything we- everything you have done for this country you deserve to have a say!”

“Steve, I’m sorry. You can’t see him.”  
He shook his head in frustration, Sam wrapping his arms around his best friend as he broke apart right in front of them. 

“This isn’t fair.. This isn’t fair!”  
Sam could only pull him into his chest, mumbling under his breath apology after apology as he stared toward the wall behind them. 

 

Steve went back to sleeping after that, he got his tags and picture back and all he did was stare at them for hours upon hours a day. It had been two weeks and he hadn’t even been updated on anything going on. Clint had been watching him for the day, bringing him meals that he didn’t touch, and after the first two refusals he simply walked back into the living room and sat himself to get comfortable. 

“Steve?”  
The voice was new and he turned his gaze to see Bruce standing at the door. 

“Tony isn’t gonna be home tonight, Nat is gonna be back in time to be with you but for now I’m replacing Clint. He told me you didn’t eat anything.”  
“I’m not hungry.”  
“Maybe not, but you need something. You aren’t going to get off lockdown if your health declines.”  
“It doesn’t matter at this point, if he even came back for me.”  
He laid his head back down, following the scientists lead as he placed two shakes on top of the dresser. 

“Please drink these. I added some flavor into them, you’ll like it.”  
He crouched down by the bed, feeling the soldiers temp before letting out a sigh. 

“Depression doesn’t suit you, Cap.”  
“I’m not depressed.”  
“What would you describe it?”  
“Exhausted. Run out. I’m tired of giving this country everything only to be shot when I need something in return.”  
“I agree with the supervision, Steve. If not for your safety than for your health. No, they should not have James locked up, but maybe it’s good you are getting time for yourself.”  
“I don’t need time for myself, Bruce.”

“We all need time for ourselves.”


	8. eight

When Natasha got to Stark’s floor she was so tired she swore she would pass out the minute she hit the pillow. Bruce had filled her in on Steve and she would get him cleaned up and fed first, but then straight into bed. 

Getting into the room she let out a sigh at the sight in front of her, Steve curled up in blankets with his dog tags swinging back in forth over his face. For all the sleeping he’s been doing, the bags under his eyes were pretty heavy looking. She also noticed the shakes to his left, still untouched making her sigh and quickly make her way into the bedroom. 

“Up.”  
He barely gave her a glance as she went through his drawers, grabbing a clean set of sweats and a hoodie before heading toward the bathroom.

“Jarvis, run a bath and turn down the floor a couple degrees.” 

“Yes, Ms. Romanoff.”  
She then went to his dresser, grabbing his shakes and bringing them to the kitchen to chuck them in the sink. Knowing how loud she was being, she was hoping it was a sign to the man in the other room to get off his ass. She doubted he would care, but made herself even louder anyway as she began putting together two more drinks for him for later. 

 

When she was finished she put them in the fridge by Tony’s bed, going then to Steve’s poorly looking form. Swinging back the comforter she took a hold of his arm, dragging him up and toward the bathroom across the room. 

“You need to take care of yourself, this is getting ridiculous.”  
“Bruce said I deserved time to myself.”

“You deserve an ass kick for your sass is what you deserve.”  
She pushed him up against the counter, stripping him of his clothes as he locked eyes on the tub filling with water. 

“I’m not getting in the tub.”  
“You are, or I will throw you in.”  
“Nat-”  
“If you think I’m gonna let you drown in a bathtub, you are insulting.”

She got down to his socks, peeling off the rest of his pants before pulling off the socks and throwing it all in the laundry bin. 

“Now, I am going to grab a towel and when I get back you better be in the water, Rogers.”

 

He wasn’t. 

She saw him in the same spot as before and groaned as she stormed into the room. Without a second glance she grabbed his arm, leading him toward the water and shoving him until he shook his head and tried backing away.

“Nat please, please! I don’t want to get in there-”

“Steve. Look at me.”  
He did as told, turning his drained eyes toward hers with a hint of fear swirled in his blues. 

“I am not going to let anything happen to you, and if having to force you into a tub is something I have to do, than I will do it.”  
His hands shook slightly, one reaching for hers as he raised a leg and slowly made his way into the water. Mentally, she breathed a sigh of relief, immediately reaching for a cup and starting to wet his hair. 

“Don’t cover me, Nat.”  
“Then put your head back.”  
“I could have gotten in the shower-”  
“Then why didn’t you? You’re a mess, Steve.”

“I’m just tired.”  
He let his head drop, flinching as she reached into his hair and began scrubbing it with soap. She couldn’t find the right words to say and stayed silent as she reached for a cloth and once again reached for the soap.

“Am I washing?”  
“I can do it-”  
At his reach she pulled her hand back, raising an eyebrow with a snippy remark, “Am I washing?”  
Weakly he gave her a small nod, reaching out to grab her other hand as he bit his bottom lip. 

“I love you, Natasha.”  
“I love you too, Steve. I just wished you loved yourself too.” 

 

She washed him pretty quickly, having Jarvis only refill it once before letting him step out of the tub. Drying him off, she let him put his clothes on before leading him to the bed and sliding the dog tags around his neck. 

“Here.”  
She handed him one of the drink, watching his face tighten before it looked at her with silent begging. 

“No.” 

The other one was placed on his dresser, next to the picture as she then got in the bed and settled herself on top of some of the pillows. 

“Both, not a word.”  
Unable to deny her, ever, he did as told. Sucking both down as fast as possible before tucking himself in. She held his hands tightly, watching him closely as she sensed the medication kicking in. Luckily, Bruce had many medications that even Steve couldn’t avoid, and just a few smashed would more than knock him out. As one of his hands stayed in hers, the other reached up, grabbing his tag before he was out like a light. 

 

Waking up was exhausting, he didn’t want to move but a hand was on his shoulder and he groaned in annoyance. 

“Leave me alone.”  
“Steve-”  
“Leave me alone!”  
He turned himself back over, throwing his blanket over his head as rage split through him. 

“Stevie-”  
“I want to sleep, okay? Just get the hell out and leave me alone!”

He chucked a pillow in the general direction of whoever was standing there, angry sobs pouring from his lips as he heard it hit the window with a slap. 

“Well you slept for seventy years, can I at least get a hello in this century?” 

He froze at the voice, moving almost impossible as the tears fell quicker and a weight sat itself on the edge of his mattress. He couldn’t bring himself to look, disappointment already filling his features as fingers curled around the edge of the comforter. The sight of metal reaching under to wrap around his arm broke his walls and he immediately reached out as the blanket fell to reveal the man he had been dreaming about.   
“Buck?”


	9. nine

“Hey, Stevie.”  
His arms went around the man’s neck, holding him as tightly as he could as he wept, not wanting to let go anytime in the near future. 

“It’s alright. I’m real, pal.”  
“Where have you been?”  
“Everywhere, had to get some things settled before I could come back.”

“You remember me?”  
“How could I forget my babydoll?”  
The familiar nickname threw him for a loop, legs wrapping around the man’s waist as he shook his head into the shoulder. 

“Don’t leave me again, don’t ever leave me again, please.”  
“Never again, my love.”

 

They must’ve sat for hours before the bedroom door opened, Tony walking in with a scoff. 

“Am I gonna get my room back now?”  
Pulling his head away, Steve gave him a smile, reaching for a hug which the man quickly refused. He went to walk away, but the look on the super soldiers face was the most genuine he had ever seen it and that smile immediately pulled him in. 

“You can’t lose him this time, I had to do a lot of shit to get him here.”

“Thank you, Tony. I can’t ever pay you back, this is.. This is the most amazing thing you have ever done for me.”  
“Yeah, yeah. Now give me my room back, just make sure to leave the comfy blanket.”

 

Turns out Bucky was cleared to stay in the tower as well, still under trial but also permitted for 24/7 clearance on Stark’s floor. Nat agreed to take them off his hands, but Tony could only shake his head. Allowing the intrusion and quickly having people move all Steve’s things back into the other bedroom. Bucky had met the group before sitting down with Steve and explaining as much as he could about his time out of the ice. The two caught up, sharing stories and confessions. The team wasn’t surprised at how quickly they matched back up, and Bucky was as good as he could be before he went down the mountain that day. 

“When we get out of here, you gonna show me New York?”  
“Of course, we can do whatever you want, Buck.”  
Steve stared into his eyes just about any time he could, the blues swallowing him whole as he still tried to piece together if this was real. As much as the team assured him, the idea of the man being right there kept him on his toes every second of every day.

“I love you.”  
“I love you more, now stop staring at me and let’s go eat.”

 

They sprawled along the couch, Bucky on his back and the slightly smaller man on his chest, eyes closed as he dozed. Wanda had made them some kind of Chilli and Buck ate almost three bowls while Steve just had a shake, too out of it to really fill his stomach. The metal arm laid against his chest, his fingers poking and prodding as the other rubbed up and down his back. They watched some movie called Star Wars and Steve barely kept his eyes on the screen with such a cool piece of tech sitting in front of him.

“Can you wash it?”

“Yeah.”  
“Can you actually clean it?”

“Blades come out.”  
His answers were given without thinking, too into the movie to really pay attention to what Steve was asking. 

“Does it hurt?” 

“Tony fixed it, doesn’t really bother me anymore.”  
“At all?”  
“Nope,” he popped the p.

“Can you feel my fingers?”  
“Yeah, sensory compartments are really cool. Can feel texture really well.”  
“That’s cool.”  
“Yup.”

 

“Sorry to interrupt such a cool conversation, but I need you guys to come with me.”  
Neither of them turned toward the voice, feet stomping as Clint appeared in front of them with an annoyed look on his face. 

“Come.”  
“Watching Star Wars.”

The larger of the three weakly pushed out his neck, trying to see around the archer to see the film. 

“I think you guys want to see this.”

“We’ve already seen the Smithsonian.”  
“Ha ha, Steve. I actually think you’ll be excited for this.”  
“Is it an art set?”  
His answers were still airy, not really focused seeing as they were more in the moment words versus him actually paying attention. 

“Art set?”  
Natasha showed up next, staring at the two as Bucky groaned and quickly moved again to see in between, slightly pushing himself up with his elbows. 

“Stevie is an artist, you didn’t know?” 

“Steve hasn’t drawn a single picture since he’s been here.”  
Bucky froze at that, turning to the man on his chest with a frown. 

“You really don’t draw anymore?”  
“Not really, kinda left that in the ice.”  
“Stevie..”  
“Okay, get your asses up now!”  
They all glared at Clint, watching him frown as he pointed toward the elevator with a sigh. 

“You guys get to go outside!”  
Steve perked up at that, sitting up on the man’s chest with a look of excitement painted across his face. 

“Really?”  
“Yeah! Your first time outside in like .. over a month!”  
Nat rolled her eyes, but gave Steve a nod. She held out two hoodies, both Bucky’s.

“James has been here for a month, Steve for over two. I think it’s time you breathed in some fresh air, don’t you think?”

“Is Sam coming down?”

“He’s still in D.C.”  
“Bucky’s gotta meet him next time he comes down.”

“We know, we’ll figure it out. Just get dressed.”

 

They held hands all the way down the elevator, Steve smiling warmly as he reached out to hold Natasha’s as well. 

“When we get out there just go straight toward the car, can’t afford cameras everywhere right now.”  
“Where do they think we are?”  
“They know that Steve’s in the tower, Barnes is more confusing since his trial wasn’t public. No one really knows where he is.”  
“We aren’t going to a hearing are we?”  
His laugh was humorless, worry filling his chest as he tightened his hand within Bucky’s with a bit of fear in his bones. 

“You think your first day out of the tower is going to a court? Rogers, you don’t know me at all.”  
“I just..”  
He let out a sigh, leaning his head against Bucky’s shoulder as the assassin looked contently around the small box. 

“These used to play music.”  
“I said the same thing.”

They were in the car quickly, just as Natasha had said before. Her and Clint sat in the front of the SUV as the soldiers in the back made themselves comfortable. 

“Wow, talk about a change in scenery.”  
“Wait till you see what happened to our apartment.”  
His gaze snapped to the blondes almost immediately, a mixture of emotions flooding his features as Steve shook his head and made a noise similar to an explosion. 

“Really?”  
The whine was pathetic, Clint snorting out a laugh as Steve nodded.

“Yup. I forgot what year- Nat what year did they take our apartment down?”  
“Um, around the 60s I think.”  
“See? We are now a parking-lot.”

They both chuckled, continuing to look out the window at all the people walking happily across the sidewalks. Steve couldn’t help but finally take in the view, breathing in the life of a city that he was only used to saving. The last time he walked these streets as a tourist was when Bucky and him went to see Howard Stark try to make a car fly. As much as he missed it, looking at Bucky let him know that maybe sometimes change could be for the better. Yeah, it would take a while, but it would be worth it one day.


	10. ten

“Alright!”  
His eyes snapped awake quickly, wiping the sleep from his eyes as Bucky began to open the door and crawl out of the vehicle. Steve quickly followed behind, reaching for the man’s hand before freezing at the realization of where they were. 

“You guys can have some time to yourself, we will be following a couple feet behind. Just make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”

The three were walking ahead as Clint laid out the rules, all smiling as Bucky’s face was filled with excitement. His smile was the widest Steve had ever seen. But, Steve couldn’t bring himself to do the same, tears were in his eyes before he could blink them away and shutting the van door he refused to move. 

“Stevie, let’s go!”  
He heard the voice, looking back up at the three who were now staring at him from a nathan’s hotdog stand. Not wanting to make a scene he quickly jogged up, stuffing his face in the man’s neck to hide his blurry gaze. 

“What's wrong?”  
“I haven’t been here in ages, Buck.”  
“Then I guess we can explore it together.”

 

It was more shock and nostalgia than anything else. Natasha and Clint disappeared as promised, and as Steve got deeper into the park he couldn’t bring himself to even speak; His hand simply tightened around Bucky’s, taking in the environment of almost all the same games and rides splattered across the pier as the 30s. They didn’t need to speak, didn’t need to get overly-touchy, they just needed their hands intertwined and the fresh air of the pier. 

“Hey, let me win you a bear.”  
He turned at the voice, eyes locking with his boyfriend’s as a smile grew widely on the older man’s face. Mirroring the look he smirked, putting a hand on his hip. 

“It ain’t gonna be three dollars anymore, you sure you can afford all those tries?”  
The other only smirked, pulling away his hand before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a wallet. 

“Where did you get that?”  
“Nat. Now, should I use a twenty or a fifty?”  
Steve’s eyes went wide, crowding his space as he reached out to see all the bills stuffed into the small leather item. 

“They gave you all of this?”  
“Well, yeah. Can’t live in New York City without a couple bills.”  
“I didn’t get anything!”  
“I mean, I am kind of cooler than you.”  
With a grin Steve stole some of the ones, running over to a game stand as Bucky cursed and followed. They laughed, playing game after game as those around them simply smiled and kept on walking. 

 

Steve ended up with three bear's, Bucky with a dog before they headed out toward the dock and got comfortable on a bench. 

“I love this place.”

“Me too.”  
Laying his head on the man’s shoulder he let his eyes close, grin wider than it had been in years as he wrapped his arms around the man’s waist. 

“Could you imagine doing this back when we were in real time?”

“We’d be thrown over.”  
They both chuckled, Bucky dropping a kiss on the man’s temple before reaching up to adjust his hat. 

“I don’t get how people aren’t recognizing you.”  
“I’m wearing a hoodie, sweats and my hair is longer. I look nothing like they know me to be.”  
“Do you regret it yet?”  
“Some parts. I wouldn’t of been able to save you the first time if I was still Steve Rogers.”  
“Still Steve Rogers? Who are you now then?”  
“I’m whoever they need me to be.”  
The arm around his shoulder pulled him in closer, cheek resting atop his head as they stared out down the beach. 

“You are still Steve Rogers to me, you should be whoever you want to be.”  
“This century is different, they say that but the moment I try to put down that shield they will hound on me. I’ll end up on the streets and no one will care for me anymore.”  
“Your team?” 

“My team?”  
“Stark, Widow, this Sam?”  
“They are great people, I.. I love them. But they only have me around because I’m Captain America. If I came back from the ice and refused to handle the shield I would have never met them.”  
“They care about you though, I think you’d be surprised.”  
“I just .. part of me doesn't want to fight anymore, Buck.”  
“Then don’t.”  
“But they need me-”  
“Then only come out when the worlds ending. I think you have given more than enough, Steve.”

Unwilling to continue the conversation, Steve quickly turned his gaze, kissing the man on his cheek before once against getting lost in the blues of his eyes. 

“I love you.”  
“I love you too.”  
They smiled for a second before their lips crashed together, the whole world disappearing around them as they fell into each other's holds. All the problems, all the wars, everything negative was gone and right now they were sitting on the pier of Coney Island by themselves in their own time. With each other. 

 

“That’s so gross!”  
“It’s not, Stevie! Try it!”  
Steve faked a gag as the hotdog was aimed toward his mouth, relish pouring from the bun in chunks as Bucky smiled widely. They sat up on the bar, staring over the ocean with plates of food surrounding them, some better than others. Steve settled back in his seat with his food, just ketchup and mustard as Bucky shook his head and continued chowing down on his own plate. 

“You know, i’m not allergic to peanuts anymore.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah, serum cured me up. Maybe now I can try that sandwich with the fluff you always ranted about.” 

“Oh yeah! I loved that stuff! Do they still make it?”   
“We can ask Tony-”  
They were interrupted by a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, the man’s neck turning on the spot before recognizing Natasha standing there with a smile. 

“You boys ready to go home?”  
Locking gazes they sighed, finishing up their last bites before standing and noticing Clint standing a few tables away. 

“Guess so. What time is it?” 

“Almost seven. Next time we should head out a little earlier, but to be fair you have been out here for almost six hours.”  
“Wow, are your lungs still working?”  
He gave Steve a nudge, smirking widely as they began walking back toward their car. 

“Better than yours, now shut up and wipe they stupid green stuff off your face.”  
Grabbing a napkin from a random table, Bucky let his grin grow, tossing it in the trash before jogging down the sidewalk and grabbing a hold of Steve’s wrist.


	11. eleven

They had fallen asleep as soon as they got home and were pretty much exhausted for the next couple days. Not used to so much walking, Steve could only drift off here and there as Bucky walked around the floor cleaning and taking care of his case work. 

“Anything you can tell me?”  
“Nada.”  
Groaning from the couch he let his head lean against the back, staring across the floor to the dining table where Bucky was filling something out. He looked really into it, hand scribbling away as his other laid loosely on the table.

“It’s been a month and a half-”  
“It’s court, especially with trials like mine it’s gonna take years to come to some sort of agreement. Stark is working really hard.”  
“I know, and I thank him everyday, I just.. They can’t take you away from me.”  
“No one's gonna take me away, babydoll.”  
His head turned for a quick second, shooting a soft smile toward the blond before turning back and continuing his actions. 

“Promise?”

He gave a small sound of approval, Steve falling back into his seat before continuing his search through the channels. 

Finally settling on something he went to get comfortable before the front door flew open, Hill running in with Bruce causing a flinch out of the two. 

“Barnes, we need you downstairs.”  
The man raised an eyebrow, shuffling his papers together before standing.

“I can’t leave the floor.”  
“You’ve been cleared, pack a bag.”

Bucky disappeared without a word, Steve jumping to his feet immediately. 

“Pack a bag? Where is he going?”  
“Don’t worry about it, Steve.”  
“Don’t worry about it? I don’t want him going anywhere without me knowing where it is!”  
“We can’t share, I’m sorry.”

 

The soldier was out within seconds, giving a quick kiss to the top of Steve’s head before running out the door with Maria. Bruce obviously stayed, locking the door before quickly clearing the table of all the files. 

“Bruce, what’s going on?”  
“Steve-”  
“I deserve-” His hands clenched at his sides as he moved toward the dining table, “I need to know.”  
Bruce simply continued with his task, leaving the room and tucking the files in Tony’s office.

The man was in that office for hours, Steve losing his mind as he continued pacing the floor. He had no idea where anyone was, but with the view of the city it didn’t look like anything major was going on. People were walking on as normal, the building quiet, Jarvis even responding to his questions that everything was fine and he had nothing to worry about. It wasn’t until around 6 that the man returned, bag dropping to the ground that Steve let out a breath and ran over. 

“What happened? Is everyone okay?”  
Buck could only nod, looking at Steve with a look in his eyes that showed they had something important to talk about. 

“I um, I need you to sit down.”

 

“Cleared? What the hell do you mean you were cleared?”  
“The trial has taken a turn and they want me to help in the battles so they can see how I am in the field. I am gonna be put on a new floor without any observation besides the normal cameras.”  
“You’re gonna fight?”  
His throat was tight. 

“But you’ve only been here for less than two months, they can’t throw you into a fight!”  
“I, uh, I asked them to.”  
“You asked them too?”  
“I requested it. It’s gonna help them realize i’m not a threat-”  
“No. You can’t go out there without me!”  
“Steve-”  
“I’ve been stuck on this floor for months on end and they haven’t even considered it, I refused to let them throw you out there without me on your six!”  
“You haven’t been taking your therapy, the nightmares aren’t changing and-”  
“Nightmares? Are you kidding me? It’s not like I have PTSD, Buck! And everyone knows therapy is bullshit!”  
“I’ve been taking it, Steve.”

He froze at the words, taking a step back as his face pinched in betrayal. 

“You what?”

“I’ve been taking therapy since I got here, I go when you fall asleep around noon. Everyday.”  
“You’ve gotta be- what else have you been doing?”  
“My trial has been moving forward, I have been training down at the gym and working with the team after you fall asleep.”  
His blood was cold, his body frozen as he shook his head and turned around. 

“I can’t- I mean- you should have told me! I could of been-”  
“You are suppose to be getting help at your own pace-”  
“I don’t need help!”  
He spun around quickly, throwing his hands in the air as he began to lose it. 

“I do not need help! I haven’t had a single panic attack in months and I have been getting out of bed! I eat meals, I have been getting full nights of sleep! I am doing a lot better than when I got here in the first place which was only because my mind was taken over by a french assassin!”  
“Steve, you put a gun to your head!”  
“I was under a hallucination!”  
“No! You weren’t!”  
They were both yelling, room filled with anger as the door opened behind them and Nat walked in. 

“I had them tell me everything that has happened since the ice and you are not doing okay.”  
“So you get my information but I get none of yours? How the hell is that fair?”  
“Because I am getting better. I agreed that you still need some time-”  
“What?”  
“Fury thinks-”  
“You’ve been talking about me with Fury?”  
“Yes. And I think that although things are changing, maybe some time away from me-”  
“Away from you? Are you- No. No! You promised me! I have spent almost 80 fucking years away from you, James! I refused to sit here and be pushed down because I don’t want you out of my sight! I have fought like hell for you! It makes no sense!”  
“But it does,” his voice grew softer, his footsteps getting closer as he pulled the man into a hug, holding tighter as he tried to fight away.

“I know you missed me, I missed you too when I could remember. But, Steve you need to fight this. I can’t sit here forever, I need to get back into missions and you can’t be there with me. I love you more than anything, and that’s why I can’t watch you fall apart.”  
“You promised!”  
Tears were soaking into his shirt as Steve held tighter to him, arms trembling as he clutched to Bucky’s shirt with nothing but longing. 

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

 

They held each other for what felt like hours, but it was only minutes before Natasha shut the door and stepped in. 

“Barnes. It’s time to head out.”  
“Buck, please. Please, don’t leave.”  
“I have to go, I’m sorry, babydoll.”  
He pressed a kiss to the blond below, pulling himself away as Maria walked from the bedroom with a new bag. 

“Buck.. Buck please!”  
His eyes were swollen, tears continuing to fall as the larger of the four shook his head and reached out for the duffle.

“I’ll be back in a week or two.”  
With that he was alone, floor completely empty as his hands raced to his eyes and he broke into sobs.


	12. twelve

He never got anyone to supervise, but a week into being alone he was still keeping up with his schedule. He ate every meal, cleaned up his mess, slept at night and some during the day, and spent the rest of his time reading. The dogtags stayed on his dresser, his anger still dying down as he thought through everything that was revealed before Buck left. If Buck had said he didn’t have to be Captain America anymore, than why was he shunned out until he got back into the role?

“Captain.”  
He flinched at the voice as he got out of the shower, Jarvis loud and simple as he responded. 

“What’s going on?”  
“Sergeant Barnes wishes to speak to you. It sounds urgent.”  
“Don’t patch him through.”  
“I think you should answer it.”  
“Leave me alone, Jarvis.”  
Without getting a response he slipped on his clothes, heading toward the hallway and planning to get some dinner. 

“Can you lock down the floor?”  
“Are you sure that’s what you want?”  
“Yes, cameras, you, all of it. I want an hour to myself.”  
“Yes, Captain Rogers.”

The silence was immediate, his body gravitating toward the kitchen. Opening the fridge he grabbed the carton of milk, turning toward the sink to grab a cup when something caught his eye. A shadow in the corner caused him to drop his drink, glass shattering as the milk splattered out of the container and he raised his arms. 

“Show yourself. How did you get in here?”  
“You shut down your security system, windows do open.”  
The voice was familiar, he kept stepping forward until the man stepped into the light and his whole body tensed. 

“Did you miss me?”  
“Rumlow.”

“We didn’t get to speak in Europe, but then again you though I was dead.”  
“I watched you die in Lagos.”

“No, you watched me disappear.”  
He felt another presence, turning to see someone he didn’t recognize standing with a gun to his head. 

“We have some unfinished business captain.”  
Before he could run the gun shot, only it wasn’t a bullet but a syringe that he blocked with his arm. He could only stare at it in disorientation before things started to fade and he hit the floor. 

 

He woke to water dipping around him, vision blacked out with pain taking over his entire body. Everything hurt but his eyes were the worst of it. At first he thought there were tears flowing down his skin, but the taste of blood filled his lips and he realized someone was wrong with his eyes. His fingers trembled, wanting to feel the damage, but they were held tightly behind his back and his legs were burning to the touch. The heat was unbearable, but it was better than the cold. He could immediately tell that he was in a cell, he could hear screams of pain and the patter of mice. Pounding resounded in his chest and he smothered a groan between his lips as he fought down his panic. 

“Get them all ready for transport!”  
Doors began sliding open, his as well before he was dragged across the floor. The ground was full of rocks and dirt and he whimpered in pain as they dug into his skin. He was still wearing the same t-shirt and sweats he put on before and they were so thin that they might as well of been off. 

 

Days. 

Steve has been here for days and he had never dealt with such pain in his life. Everytime he vision began to clear they would dig a knife back into his eyes, ignoring his screams as they tore apart the skin. His hands were beaten and swollen so bad and single shift of his body was enough to knock him out in pain.

Every kind of torture imagined had been inflicted upon him and the moments like this where he sat in the silence of his own mind were the only one’s where he felt like he was still alive.

“He says they have been looking for almost 24 hours, he sent them in the wrong direction but they are starting to figure it out.”  
“I mean come on, he’s playing a fucking judge and he can’t keep the avengers off our ass?”   
“Guess not, Rumlow is gonna take him out tonight.”

“That’s our last major player in the east coast!”  
“We are gonna move back toward Europe again, US is more a future plan.”  
“And where we are now?”  
“Already starting to spread.”  
“What does he want us to do with this?’  
A foot kicked his side, limbs tensing up as more blood because sifting from his wounds. 

“Just keep him immobile.”  
“Thought we could have a little fun.”

 

He wanted to cry, but his eyes were too torn apart for his tear ducts to work. They were moving again, and this time he recognized a van, more specifically the trunk of a van. The past few times he has been awake are shortening, he can barely keep himself aware for more than an hour at a time. Things keep fading in and out. He has slight memory of the fact that his team knows he’s missing he just can’t remember where they are saying they are traveling to. He just wished he had more time with Bucky, he hadn’t seen the man in who knows how long and he just wanted a quick goodbye, because even he knew he wasn’t making it out of this. The serum couldn’t taken this much pain for long and he knew that they were gonna off him as soon as they got what they wanted, whatever that was. 

The car came to a stop. He prepared himself for the trunk to open, but before it could he felt a jolt before the whole thing tipped. A scream of pain left his lips, throat aching at the sound as the car began to roll. Footsteps surrounded the vehicle and he wished to anything out there that he could see, that he could get out and run, but he had no idea where he was. He had no idea if he was in a city or a base, nothing in his favor was available. So he just sat there, he sat there and waited to die.


	13. thirteen

“Open the trunk!”  
The voice sounded angry. Fury and rage in such a way that he had never heard it before, but he recognized the sound and he began to beg.

“Bucky! Oh god, Buck is that you? Buck!”  
“I said open the fucking trunk now!”

There was mumbling, before the breaking of bones, a cry of fear filling his ears before something broke through the steel and Steve forced his face into his hands. He felt his space getting smaller and his stomach curled into itself as a hand locked into his clothes. The yank tore it and he yelped in pain at the material rubbing against his skin, but that was nothing as metal wrapped around his chest and began to pull. 

He screamed, no he wept at how much pain he was in before something dropped to the ground and another arm wrapped around him to pull him out. Everything was on fire and he kept his face hidden as he was laid across what felt like concrete. His sobs were scratchy and pitiful as hands ran up and down his skin, one sliding across his face as a voice filled his ears. 

“Stevie? Baby I need you to look at me, lower your hands so I can see your eyes!”

“Barnes-”  
“Shut up, Stark! Steve, look at me!”  
The yelling was terrifying but he knew the man wouldn’t hurt him, he knew he was safe. But, he couldn’t help but shake his head in refusal. 

“Bucky.. I can’t.”  
“What do you mean you can’t, let me see if you’re hurt anywhere else. Nat is on her way, she’s on her way here but you have to show me where you’re hurt.”  
His facade began to crack, voice cracking as his hands trembled and Steve felt his body become completely hidden by the soldier. 

“Please don’t touch it.. It hurts so bad, Bucky!”  
The pain of the slashed skin was nothing compared to him trying to cry. 

“You have to let me sleep! You have to, you have to knock me out!”  
He legs began to kick, feeling more blood surface before an apology dropped above him and weight fell down on his body. The burn ran all up his sides.

“I am so sorry, Stevie I am so sorry but you have to stop, you have to calm down! I am here, I am here for you, I love you.”  
The panic calmed enough to where he leaned into the cheek above him, blood smearing as hands slowly took hold of his. 

“You have to show me..”  
As they were peeled away he heard a gasp, the body above him shaking as Bucky began to curse and moved Steve’s hands back.

“Tony, get me that jet now, get me a getaway now before these wounds become infected!”  
The anger was back and he stifled a moan as his body was dragged up against a uniform. 

“Move out of my way!”  
Against the chest he felt safe, regardless of the pain he was in, having Bucky with him was enough and as things began to fade he took in one last feeling of freedom. Bucky could finally take him home.


	14. fourteen

The first thing he registered was the fact that he could see. Things were still blurry, but most of his pain was gone and he was starting to see the inside of a twinjet. His whole body was being held tightly against something solid and it was somewhat evened out by the blanket wrapped smotherly around his form. They were obviously in the air because of the slight shaking, but the heartbeat by his ear kept him grounded. 

“Barnes, you have to put him down, we need to get out as soon as this jet lands. Wanda will be here to watch him.”  
“No.”  
“He’s safe here, once we take down where he was held we should be able to figure out everyone else involved, but we need you with us.”  
“I’m not leaving him.”  
The rumble of his chest was soothing as he spoke, it was calming enough to keep him under his trance.

“James, Tony is right. He won’t even be awake so we can get through this mission as fast as possible.”  
“If he wakes-”  
“If he wakes Wanda will put him back under.”

“I can’t leave him here, Natasha.”  
There was silence. 

“Okay.”  
“Okay?”  
“I said okay, Tony. Wanda will come with us, James will stay here and keep an eye out on the perimeter as well as Steve.”  
Hearing his name he tightened his fist, clutching the blanket tighter in his hand as the one over his head pulled him in closer against his chest. 

“If we call you-”  
“I will come.”

“Sam, why don’t you stay with him?”  
“We can’t leave half out team here!”  
“Barton you just worry about staying above ground-”  
“No he’s right! I can’t even hulk out, so how am I helping? We are now down another two members-”

The bickering started but was quickly squashed, Bucky standing up with a growl. 

“This is what’s going to happen. I am going to stay here, Sam is going to fly perimeter and Stark is going to bring Barton to the best point of coverage. Nat and Bruce are going to head in the east side and Wanda and Tony are going to eventually meet up on the west side. You are going to find everyone responsible and either take them out or hold them for shield who are on their way. If I have to come in there, there will be no survivors. Shut up and let me protect what I need to before you all lose your fucking heads! Is that clear?”  
The silence was expected, Bucky sitting back in his spot before looking out the cockpit window and sighing. 

“I can’t leave him again, the amount of pain he was in shook me to the core and I would rather die than leave him on his own. When we left him on that floor alone I realized, he wasn’t healing. Not because he didn’t want to, or that he couldn’t, but because he was in his own way. He doesn’t want to be Cap anymore. He has been this man for so long that he’s finally starting to heal as Steve and we are forcing the shield into his day to day living. He doesn’t need to be locked up because he can’t see his team on the news without panicking, he needs to be realizing that it can be done without him involved so he doesn’t feel guilty if something happens out there while he’s at home. Steve is exhausted and I think we all know it’s because he has been doing this for too long. “  
“Barnes..”  
“Now that we know my case was fucked up from the beginning, I think I’m gonna take it to my advantage. Fighting is great, saving lives is great, but I care about Steve more than I care about that and if I only leave for a couple missions here and there I am settled. I came back for my life, and that’s him. He is strong. Yes. But this, this is gonna set him back and I will be there for him every step of the way. It’s time for us to move on and start living our own lives.”  
The silence wasn’t one of anger this time, but acceptance.   
“We understand.”


	15. fifteen

The distance held bombs. He could see and his body no longer ached and he felt as if he could be in his own body again. Warmth was coming at him from all angles and he let out a groan as the grip around him tightened. 

“Steve?”  
He looked up at the familiar face, face beginning to fall as he quickly reached up and wrapped his arms around the man’s neck. 

“James..”  
His tears were soaking the man’s uniform, unwilling to let go as he let himself finally begin to fall apart. 

“I am so sorry, Stevie.”  
“No, no don’t. I held you back and tried to keep you away because that's what I wanted, Bucky I don’t care. Just, just promise you won’t leave me and I don’t care.”  
“I would never leave you.”

 

He was sitting up against the seat, letting the man check him over as his body still shivered a little. As much as he was back, he still had slight tremors and he was starting to jump at every sound around him. 

“Baby, you know I’m gonna protect you, right?”  
“Yeah.”  
Fingers lifted up his chin, locking their gaze as Bucky looked into his eyes a little longer than normal. 

“I love you.”

“Buck..”

“I love you, Steve.”  
He used his thumb to wipe at a few drying tears, kissing the man’s forehead as he let out a sigh. 

“After this, why don’t you marry me?”  
His eyes widened, looking at the newest avenger in shock. 

“What?”  
“When we get home, let’s move out of Tony’s room and get married. I’ll let you frame pictures of me everywhere.”  
A small chuckle left the blond’s lips, his body still shaky as he lifted his arms and brought the other in for another hug. 

“You want to marry me?”  
“Of course I do, I don’t ever wanna be apart from you. I’m with you till the end of the line, babydoll.”

 

The mission was quick enough to where it rose concern, the team getting back to the jet just as Bucky was strapping Steve into one of the chairs. He buckled him softly, just enough to keep him sitting up before throwing a blanket over his chest and kissing his forehead. Before anyone spoke he heard their footsteps, turning and running over with confusion. 

“What the hell are you guys doing back?”  
“There weren’t many people in there, we are just as shocked as you!”  
Clint walked by without a care, hands thrown in confusion as Bucky looked at the team. 

“Something doesn’t seem right.”  
“We thought the same thing, but Rumlow was in there-”  
“There isn’t any possible way this is over.”  
“SHIELD is in there now, regardless, Rumlow is captured and I think we all just need to go home and rest it off.”  
Nat had a look in her eye, placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder before reaching up to shut the ramp. They sat in silence only for a second before Steve voice rang out softly through the plane. 

“Bucky?”  
“Yeah, baby?”  
The man snapped his head around, quickly making his way toward the blond without hesitation. 

“Can we just go home?”  
“Of course, baby,” he rested his hand on the man’s chest, smiling softly at the words, “if that's what you want.”  
He waited until the man drifted off, running his hands through the man’s hair before beginning to mumble things for only them to hear. There were smiles, a couple laughs before the man fell asleep in his seat and Bucky stood up to his full height. 

“Stark?”

“Yeah?”

“How fast can you have our things moved to a different floor?”  
“Flights only a couple hours, I’ll see that it’s done before we get home. In the tower I presume?” 

“I don’t think we’re ready to be on our own just yet.”  
“Not a problem, Jay get me Pepper on the line!”  
He spun back around in his chair next to Clint, speaking quickly as Bucky himself finally sat down for the first time all day. 

“Don’t wake me unless someone’s dying.”  
Not needing confirmation he stuck his hand in Steve’s, closing his eyes and letting himself relax.


	16. sixteen

He didn’t know what was going on but he was back in that trunk, darkness taking over as his body began to tremble. Voices were surrounding him but he couldn’t make any of them out before the temperature began to drop. Panic flooded his veins as the car began to move faster, his whole body jumping in tune with the road as his hand moved up toward his eyes only to feel nothing. There was no socket, not even an indentation. His chest grew stiff, cramped almost as he began to reach up and beat against the vehicle to no avail. No one was stopping and he began to scream as the drive looked downward. His whole body slid down, angle dropping without a warning as he was pushed up against the side of the car. Everything seemed to grow narrow and before he could think of a plan he was thrown across the small space, car slow as it felt almost sinking like. 

Reaching out he gently felt around, the trunk becoming cold before the sound of creaking metal filled the space, almost a hiss. Unable to pinpoint it he went to call for help before he felt it, water dripping under his feet. Letting out a string of curses he flew his body around, trying to find the source of water before realizing the area where the trunk closed was pouring pounds and pounds of water into his space. 

Dreading his fate he immediately began pushing, trying to gain enough strength to escape, but it seemed useless as the water rose up past his waist. 

“No! Someone get me out! Someone help me!”  
The groaning of the car was almost inevitable, his hands hiding his face as the bottom of the car finally came in contact with ground. He let out a wail as the water hit his neck and breathing became difficult as he accepted his fate. Unable to see, to identify the place in which he would finally meet his end, he let his body float as the water began shadowing his face. He held his breath as long as he could before his choice was ripped from him and the water traveled harshly down his throat with a burn. 

But it was ice.

The moment the wave hit his nose it froze. 

 

Bucky woke slowly to Steve’s hand tightening around his, the painful grip unsteady and concerning. He could only squeeze back, trying to roll over to go back to sleep when it grew harsher.   
“Ouch, Stevie. I’ll get up in a second-”  
“Help me, help me, please!”  
His eyes snapped open, body shooting up as the voice rang through is ears. 

“Hey, hey what's wrong?”  
He noticed the tears pouring down the other’s face, body twitching and shifting in every which way. 

“Steve, I’m here, baby.”  
He crawled out of the seat, unbuckling the few straps that were together before pulling the man into his chest. The whimpers broke his heart and as quiet as they were each one boomed loudly in his head. 

“Hey, you’re okay. I’ve gotcha, babydoll.”  
Sitting down he quickly bundled up all the limbs, dragging the blanket from the seat over until it covered them both completely. Rocking seemed to soothe the nightmare enough to where the tears slowed down and the hands stopped their tremors. 

“I’ve gotcha, shh.”  
“Bucky..”  
“Yeah, baby?”  
The blues were open, looking around in dismay as he recognized his surroundings. Although his chest was still pounding too heavy for either of their likings his breaths seemed to slow and he fell limp into the embrace. Bucky’s eyes were sluggish at best and he quickly got them comfortable before letting himself fall back to sleep.


	17. seventeen

“Guys, we’re back. You gonna live on the jet from now on?”  
“Yeah.”  
The weight in his arms was welcoming and he quickly rolled over in the seats, pulling the mass closer as he tried to go back to sleep. 

“There’s a giant bed waiting for you just a few floors away, how about that?”

“Fuck off, Stark.”  
“Geez, tough crowd. Alright, well the pilot is taking off in five minutes with you or not and I won’t feel bad when you wake up in Cali. Goodbye and good riddance grandpas.”  
With that feet were stomping away, groans leaving his lips as he forced himself to sit up and rub at his eyes. 

“Stevie, you ready to head in?”

“No.”  
“Then I guess we’re headed to Cali.”  
“Ugh.”  
Steve shot up quickly, stopping his feet as he angrily pulled the blanket into his arms. He stomped all the way down the ramp, Bucky behind him almost the same way as he stretched and headed inside the building.

“You’re under me, Cap. Ninety-Two on the buttons.”  
With a flip of his finger Bucky made his way to the doors, wrapping himself around his love as he left sloppy kisses all over the man’s neck. 

“When I wake up tomorrow you’re showering with me.” 

“If I wake up I’m all yours.”  
The ding of the elevator pulled them away from each other, welcoming them inside as heavy rock music began playing around them. They both glared at Stark as he stepped in as well, smiling widely. 

“You said you wanted music.”  
“They didn’t exactly have AC/DC back in our day, Tony.”  
“Well, Rogers. We have them now. So enjoy it or get the hell out of my tower.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For now, I am marking this as complete! Sorry the chapters were so short, probably unorganized as well, but the idea hit me and I just wrote and wrote until my hands finally came to a stop. Thank you for reading this and if its updated in the future than I hope you come back.

**Author's Note:**

> like mentioned, just a small little idea written out. Its rushed, probably inaccurate, and very messy, but sometimes you just have to scribble down ideas as you go.
> 
> Thanks for reading, guys.


End file.
